Sunday, February 21, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Ode to the Cool Kids
One of my goals this semester has been to learn to love the cool kids. The cool kids are probably the hardest group of people for me to love; After all, it was THEIR KIND who initially made a marginalized specimen out of ME - not the other way around. It all started in Gr. 2 when I was not one of Matthew McCarty's chosen girls to fall in love with. The girls he did fall in love with, making a huge spectackle about being in love with them, remain cool to this very day. Coolness is assigned early and its a hard club to break into once its formed.
The cool kids in my life are no longer kids but young adults. They are stylish. They are good looking. They know what's hot and what's not. And that is not me. So it is my natural reaction to resent the cool kids. If I avoid and hate them, I don't have to deal with their nonsense. PEOPLE LOVE ME, YOU STUPID COOL KIDS, SO I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK, my life attempts to scream at them. Except that when I am forced to be around them my natural reaction is to worship them, which is problematic to say the least.
Anyway, recently a cool kid died in a car accident. I didn't know him, but he was good looking and stylish, which, is quite enough for me to wish to avoid his presence altogether. I don't know what his attitude was, but with a face like that, how could he be anything but "cool"? I am positive that had I had the chance, I would not have bothered to get to know him. He was too pretty.
Except the thing is, I don't think he was "cool". Having met his gorgeous yet humble family, and having heard stories of his life, I don't think he was the traditional asshole I assign to people who look like him. So I decided to no longer discriminate against cool people, or people who I perceived as being cool.
ALL people need love, whether they treat me as an inferior or not. And some people, though beautiful and stylish, are not even like that. They managed to escape that black hole of pride, probably with Jesus' help.
The thing is, I have pride issues against those people. Years of pent up bitterness - YOU BLOODY PRETENTIOUS OPPRESSORS! I DON'T NEED YOU!
Cool people make me angry. They are SO hard to love. It is SO against my nature to even smile lovingly in the direction of a cool person.
And so I have been experimenting with learning to love cool people this semester. Some gorgeous people have been great, and I'm glad I've gotten to know them. I appreciate their presence in my life and their attitude of inclusiveness is SO powerful.
The thing about cool people is that they hold a lot of power. If a cool person treats a plebian well, it speaks volumes. If an average person treats a plebian well, it is significant, but not mind-shattering. An all-inclusive attitude amongst those who are naturally good looking and stylish, I would argue, is crucial to authentic community. When good looking and stylish Christians only hang out with other good looking and stylish Christians, or awkward and ugly Christians only hang out with other awkward and ugly Christians, we are creating STUPID divisions. The body of Christ needs to be unified, not divided into ridiculous subdivisions of levels of cool.
Other cool kids have been less than a stellar experience. There's nothing quite like being reminded of your apparent inferiority. It sucks. I guess the next step for me is to learn to not be bitter towards the cool kids.
They cannot help the role that society has assigned to them. Even if they can, why would they want to? They're on top, and stepping down from there would be a huge blow to the ego, something that would take a lot of strength and courage. I have been blessed to be naturally uncool. I don't have to make the big leaps of status that they do in order to build community.
I MUST learn to have compassion on them. I AM no better than they are, so I need to stop thinking that I am just because I don't have the same struggles that they do.
But it is hard. And I am angry.
But with every fibre in my being, cool kids, I WILL forgive you and you WILL be loved unconditionally by me one day. Because JESUS loves you unconditionally and I long to emulate him.
It would just be a hell of a lot easier if you would get off your bloody high horse.
That is all.
The cool kids in my life are no longer kids but young adults. They are stylish. They are good looking. They know what's hot and what's not. And that is not me. So it is my natural reaction to resent the cool kids. If I avoid and hate them, I don't have to deal with their nonsense. PEOPLE LOVE ME, YOU STUPID COOL KIDS, SO I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK, my life attempts to scream at them. Except that when I am forced to be around them my natural reaction is to worship them, which is problematic to say the least.
Anyway, recently a cool kid died in a car accident. I didn't know him, but he was good looking and stylish, which, is quite enough for me to wish to avoid his presence altogether. I don't know what his attitude was, but with a face like that, how could he be anything but "cool"? I am positive that had I had the chance, I would not have bothered to get to know him. He was too pretty.
Except the thing is, I don't think he was "cool". Having met his gorgeous yet humble family, and having heard stories of his life, I don't think he was the traditional asshole I assign to people who look like him. So I decided to no longer discriminate against cool people, or people who I perceived as being cool.
ALL people need love, whether they treat me as an inferior or not. And some people, though beautiful and stylish, are not even like that. They managed to escape that black hole of pride, probably with Jesus' help.
The thing is, I have pride issues against those people. Years of pent up bitterness - YOU BLOODY PRETENTIOUS OPPRESSORS! I DON'T NEED YOU!
Cool people make me angry. They are SO hard to love. It is SO against my nature to even smile lovingly in the direction of a cool person.
And so I have been experimenting with learning to love cool people this semester. Some gorgeous people have been great, and I'm glad I've gotten to know them. I appreciate their presence in my life and their attitude of inclusiveness is SO powerful.
The thing about cool people is that they hold a lot of power. If a cool person treats a plebian well, it speaks volumes. If an average person treats a plebian well, it is significant, but not mind-shattering. An all-inclusive attitude amongst those who are naturally good looking and stylish, I would argue, is crucial to authentic community. When good looking and stylish Christians only hang out with other good looking and stylish Christians, or awkward and ugly Christians only hang out with other awkward and ugly Christians, we are creating STUPID divisions. The body of Christ needs to be unified, not divided into ridiculous subdivisions of levels of cool.
Other cool kids have been less than a stellar experience. There's nothing quite like being reminded of your apparent inferiority. It sucks. I guess the next step for me is to learn to not be bitter towards the cool kids.
They cannot help the role that society has assigned to them. Even if they can, why would they want to? They're on top, and stepping down from there would be a huge blow to the ego, something that would take a lot of strength and courage. I have been blessed to be naturally uncool. I don't have to make the big leaps of status that they do in order to build community.
I MUST learn to have compassion on them. I AM no better than they are, so I need to stop thinking that I am just because I don't have the same struggles that they do.
But it is hard. And I am angry.
But with every fibre in my being, cool kids, I WILL forgive you and you WILL be loved unconditionally by me one day. Because JESUS loves you unconditionally and I long to emulate him.
It would just be a hell of a lot easier if you would get off your bloody high horse.
That is all.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
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