Downside Up

"Fuck! We're all here! Share!" - a youth in Downside Up



At work on my break yesterday, I was in the staff room reading the paper, and this picture caught my eye because I thought I recognized the location. A similar place is one of my favourite "secret" places to go off to sometimes.

Anyway, I read the article and it was about how this man made a documentary on local homeless youth. There was a screening tonight, so some Bible study friends and I went.

The documentary was about nine people, all under 25ish, who live on the streets. Its about their opinions, their experiences, their dreams. I placed my favourite quote from the movie at the top of this post. He was talking about how silly it is that our country has the money and resources, individuals have the money and resources, but there is still extreme poverty in Canada and huge inequities.

What tugged on my heart the most was that I recognized one of the women in the documentary from my high school. I know her by name. She was in my Grade Nine French class, and was one of the few people nice enough to talk to me. Because it was a lower level course, as in, the "smart" kids took a higher level of French in Grade Nine, there were a lot of rambunctious sex-obsessed boys in that class, and I was harassed a little. As a scared little girl fresh out of private Christian school, this was terrifying. But she was one of the people who took me under her wing. It was because of her and a couple other compassionate girls that I didn't dread that class every week.

Seeing her there, this person I would have never guessed would ever end up in that situation, really made me hurt for her. It also helped me realize that the stereotypes we put on street people are stupid.

Another thing that really stuck out for me was one guy talking about how hurtful it is to ask someone for change only to be entirely ignored, and how low that makes him feel. I know I've ignored street people asking for change before. And now I'm really sorry I have.

Anyway, the documentary is being sold in a local cafe starting tomorrow. I'm definitely picking one up. Its definitely worth showing people. Its a fantastic film.

Life is Beautiful

This summer I decided I wanted to learn how to quilt. It turns out quilting lessons are not in bounty, but my Mom suggested I call up a family friend, a woman in her sixties, because she knows how to quilt. I did call her up, and she's been teaching me to quilt for a couple of months now.

This lady and her husband have been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. She used to teach with my Mom when I was a toddler and they've been friends ever since. Now, she's still a good friend of both my Mom and my Mom's ex-husband, my Dad. So she is intimately acquainted with many of my family's tumultuous issues that have occurred over the last twenty years.

We've had some amazing discussions while stitching together. We've talked about my family, ministry, faith, the evolving church, our passions... Its been a beautiful time we've shared.

She's a wonderful lady but last week, she received the results of some medical tests, and found out she has skin cancer. She told my Mom.

My Mom told me that evening, a few days before my next lesson. I wasn't sure what to do or say when we met again. I decided to not say anything about it at all, since she's not in the habit of disclosing her troubles to me.

For this particular lesson, she took me to her friend Rita's house. Rita happened to be about to set up a quilt she's making for one of her grandchildren and agreed to wait until I could make it before she commenced.

Rita is amazing. She's about 80, 85, and her husband died five years ago. She lives on a granny flat on the side of her family's farmhouse and she still home school's two of her grandchildren. Her house is immaculate and lovely, with well-nurtured plants and quilts hanging up everywhere. She served us lunch and while it was simple: quiche, salad, garlic bread and tea, it was a beautiful meal, You could tell she was very intentional about incorporating beauty into every aspect of her life.

Rita captivated me. She was so with it mentally, and though she was hunched over and clearly quite arthritic, she pressed on, making beauty a priority in her life. I want to be just like her.

Rita and my quilting teacher broached the subject of my teacher's cancer briefly, talking of cat scans and MRIs. When they did, my teacher looked me right in the eye. I gave her a sympathetic half-smile, because I didn't know what else to do. I wasn't a part of that conversation anyway.

On the way back home from Rita's house, my teacher and I talked about Rita, and the wonder that she is. We talked of the importance as Christians of incorporating beauty in life and never letting that go if possible.

This story doesn't really have a conclusion. It is simply what happened that day, and I've been thinking about it a lot.

Since then, my Mom has told me more about my teacher's situation, and its a bleak one. My heart goes out to her but I'm not sure what I should do. I'm trying to figure out if it was helpful for me to avoid bringing up the topic that day or not, whether it was helpful to discuss beauty instead of cancer.

I don't know. I've never dealt with terminal illnesses before. Basically, the situation really sucks and I don't know how to love her through this.

Sigur ros - Hljomalind

Some Stuff Which is Good

1) Ten Thousand Villages This is a store, a ministry of MCC, that sells only fair trade items that come from third world countries. They sell coffee, tea, sugar, rice, spices, chocolate, skin care products, paper, home decor stuff, dishes, gorgeous furniture made out of reclaimed wood, books, journals, jewelry, purses, Persian rugs, toys and a whole slew of other products! 70% of the artisans that Villages employs are women. They ensure that the products are made in a sustainable, environmentally friendly fashion. The artisans are paid 50% of the price for their product when their product is ordered so that they can buy materials and have an income as they are making their crafts and then, when the craft is completed, Villages pays the other 50% of the price.

Something else that's cool is that if a place like Pier One cancels an order from a third world country for a bunch of products without paying for it, Villages will buy those products from those artisans!

AND, when you buy something there, if you are so inclined, you can ask for a print out of the artisan's story.

The business is mainly run by volunteers. I know all this because I started there about 7 weeks ago. Not so coincientally, 7 weeks ago is when I started being a coffee drinker, because they have free coffee for anyone who comes into the store (or works there). My favourite blend thus far is the Tanzania Medium Roast.

2) Pushing Daisies



I basically love this cancelled TV show. Its addictive, but you have to start from episode one. Its obscure and artfully done. It is all based on a rediculous premise but the characters have an unexpected amount of depth, though you don't realize that until you get to know them better as the episodes go on.

3) Egg Replacer


This was my best discovery as a vegan. Its cheaper than eggs, and you can put it into any baked good. Or at least, the baked goods that I've tried it in have been cookies, pie crusts, cake and banana bread. All were a great success!

Now, what makes Egg Replacer especially wonderful is its potential in making home made cookie dough safe. Instead of using eggs in your cookie recipe, you can use Egg Replacer, and then eat the cookie dough or give it to a broken-hearted friend. Cookie dough made with Egg Replacer also lasts longer. This year my roommate and I made it for both of our finals periods. Sneaking off to the fridge for another spoonful made the otherwise miserable time more bearable.

4) Flower pressing. Gather flowers that would flatten nicely and stick them in a heavy book for two weeks. That's it. So easy!

I have an odd knack for finding 4 through 8 leaf clovers. Today I found seven four leaf clovers and one five leaf clover. This year I've started pressing them. Its kind of a nice thing to send off in letters or put in birthday cards.


Hmm... and though I might sound perky in this post I'm actually in a bit of a mood. I feel sad and exhausted.

I need to go to bed. Good night!

Gay Prom

My sister, who is not gay, and her female friend, who also is not gay, wanted to go to our city's free gay prom to show their support of our city's gay youth.

They have some homosexual friends, some of whom will be going.

Angela has a real heart for gay rights, and has chosen to do many of her summative school projects on the topic.

She is not the sort of person who is into "experimenting" and is one of the most obsessively sexually pure people that I know, even though she's not a Christian. Thus, I do not think that sort of environment would tempt her to run off and have sexual relationship with another girl.

I think its great that she wanted to go. I think it shows what a beautiful heart she has. I also think that if Jesus walked the earth today, its the sort of place He would hang out at.

It didn't even occur to me that this would be a controversial thing in our family until I came up the stairs to my Mom telling Ange she couldn't go. I stood up for Ange, saying its where Jesus would hang out, and my Mom said, "yeah, to preach to them!" I said, "No, Jesus ate with sinners. He was their friend." The conversation ended.

Apparently my Mom and Ange talked later though, and my Mom said she couldn't go because she didn't want Angela to support homosexual sex.

Personally, I feel, using that logic, the same can be said about going to a regular high school prom, only you're supporting premarital sex, which we're supposed to see as just as sinful.

To be fair, I should include that my Mom did suggest that alternatively, she should invite her homosexual friends out for lunch instead. Since they're already friends though, I would imagine that sort of thing happens all the time anyway.

To me, this situation seems pretty cut and dry. I think she should go. But I get that not everyone would see it that way.

So, what do you think?

A Sense of Belonging

Lately, as I have begun a new job that I feel pretty inadequate at, and as I get ready to start at my fourth new school in four years, I've been doing a lot of thinking about the importance of the feeling of belonging.

In early high school I went on two Brio missions trips. Brio, for those who might not know, is (well, was...) a Christian girl's magazine put out by Focus on the Family.

The term Brio Magazine used to describe its subscribers was "Brio Sisses". They would use that term over and over again and I loved it. It made me feel so connected to something bigger than myself, something where I had a lot in common with the other people in the same network. I think a part of the draw for me to go on these missions trips was the appeal of actually joining up with other "Brio Sisses" so I could soak up how wonderful it was to be surrounded by people who understood where I was coming from.

Words cannot describe how great it was to talk to these other girls from all over Canada, the US and various other parts of the world and have conversations like,
"What's your favourite band?"
"Superchic[k]!"
"Me too!"

I think... I did a good job of being the ultimate Christian subculture poster child.

But now, just like a whole slew of others, I've awoken up from it all and realized that that world is not the point of why Jesus came. And that its a "world" with all its own drawbacks and evils, just like the one it tends to shun.

I think, though, that in desperately wanting to be a part of that world, I was simply desperately searching for community. And I'll probably always be doing that in some form.

Now I am somewhat in between catagories, I think. I like to think I'm a Christian hippie in the making, or something like that. I don't feel cool and artsy enough to be a real hippie, but I'm not conservative enough or as in touch with what's going on in Christian Subculture Land to be a part of that world either.

But does anybody really fit in to a rigid catagory? Should anybody fit into a rigid catagory?

What roll does conformity play in authentic community, if it plays a part at all? And does authentic community even have anything to do with labels like "Brio Sis" or "hippie"? Or is it about doing one's best to have all the different labels of people feeling accepted and loved under the same roof? Or something else entirely?