Frustrated with Fair Trade

I am desperate for a new pair of shoes.

At the beginning of the summer, I needed a pair of black shoes for working in a kitchen. It was also my first time buying new shoes in a very long time, and I wanted to make sure they were sweatshop free. So from store to store we went, looking for the label "Made in Canada" or "Made in the USA." We found a pair eventually, after exausting three malls and several other shoe stores. My shoes are ugly as sin, a men's pair of runners that I actually had to go over in permanent marker to make entirely black, but at least they are functional and (I assume?) exploitation-free!

Now I'm looking for nice shoes to wear out and about, especially for the Fall. I've been bumming off my Mom and sister for months now, and that's not fair to them nor is it good for my feet.

Knowing what I was up against, I was in an apathetic mood the other day and my Mom and I went shopping for just any pair of shoes I would like, sweatshops involved or no sweatshops involved. We went to our local outlet mall.

I am actually desperate for a lot of different articles of clothing, especially clothes I don't feel comfortable buying second-hand, like socks and pajama shorts. So, the first store we went into, I got some socks and pajama shorts there.

After that, we had ZERO luck finding anything. I would find shoes that I loved, but they wouldn't be in my size. I don't have overly large or small feet so that doesn't usually happen to me, but it happened over and over again that day.

I was in such an apathetic mood that I even began trying on new clothes from various stores, regardless of where they were made. *ITS JUST TOO DAMN HARD TO FIND ANYTHING ETHICAL!* I justified. Also, my Mom was paying, and its a lot easier to buy new when someone who can afford it is paying for it. Even still, I never found anything that fit properly or that I liked.

Frustrated and tired in one of the last shoe stores in the mall, one of us realized I was no longer carrying the bag of pajamas and socks. Apparently I had set it down somewhere. My Mom went off to find it while I tried on more shoes, but came back empty handed about 25 minutes later. It seems my socks and pjs had been stolen. (Seriously, who steals something like that?)

So, the day was actually counter-productive. And I still have nothing.

There is a fair trade clothing store in town, but the quality of clothes that it sells is low. I've had several articles of clothing fall apart on me now.

Later that night, still apathetic and also annoyed now, I was listening to the song, "Waking Up in Vegas" by Katy Perry. And, as odd as this sounds, I feel like God used that song to speak to me about my apathy. Words like, "Shut up and put your money where your mouth is / That's what you get for waking up in Vegas" totally spoke to my heart.

And so, I still need new shoes, but I'm learning that I need to not give up on the pursuit of justice, even in decisions as small as my choice of shoes for the Fall. Because God's heart is with the oppressed, and even though I live in the privileged part of the world, a part of the world that partially got so rich by exploiting the other majority of the world, that doesn't mean I need to be a part of that!